The Calypso

A great video from the Cousteau files. I have heard he was a great lover of black coffee.

Coffee Goes Prime Time

If you have the American television station PBS (Public Broadcasting) you will have an opportunity to view "Black Coffee" tonight at 9 p.m. eastern standard time. The description: "Chronicling the growth of designer-coffee chains, such as Starbucks and Second Cup, and their impact on fair-trade practices" makes me wonder what the angle will be, but I am interested nevertheless.

Will they talk about my favourite, Beaner's? Doubtful, but it would be wondrous if they did. I spend most of my life in there. Of course, it's just around the corner from my flat, so that is to be expected I suppose.

I have begun the process of writing a play based on my experiences with coffee and Pal Mals. I may chronicle the process here, though I'm not sure it is the proper place. We shall see. For now, it's back to my nice hot cup of black coffee and perhaps a pal mal or two. The weather outside is dreadful.

If You've Ever Wondered...

It has been a few days, I've been busy hosting some coffee parties for some local socialites. They're kind of like cocktail parties, except that I substitute coffee. They are starting to become very popular among the local well-to-do. Let's face it, people usually end up intoxicated at cocktail parties, and driving drunk afterward. That's bad news, and no one wants to be responsible for what could happen. Cocktails also make you a little tired. However, no one gets intoxicated off of coffee and it helps you party late into the night.

I have some pictures from a few of the get-togethers, and I'll post them once I get permission from some of the attendees. But it was a good time this past week, and I look forward to many more.

And, remember, as we enter the holiday season nothing says Merry Christmas like a big mug of hot black coffee.

If It's 21 Degrees and Nobody is There To Feel it, Does It Still Suck?

It's never cold with a hot cup of coffee. Add to that a nice, smooth Pal Mal and the temperature no longer matters outside, because inside you're feeling fine.

I was waiting for the bus this morning, because I had to go over to the market and deliver a package and it was a tad chilly out. However, I had a nice tall cup of coffee in my right hand, and smooth Pal Mal in my left hand. It could have been a warm June day in a tropical getaway.

Thank God It's Coffee Day

TGIC is here. Another week gone by, and many tasks completed. No doubt my weekend will be spent at Beaner's, enjoying some good hot coffee and a few books. I am heading down in a few minutes, and seeing as how it is just around the corner from my flat, I should be there straight away. One never knows the exciting possibilities of a good weekend spent at the coffee house, and that is part of the fun. Until Monday, cheers.

Speaking of Barack Obama

Apparently some gentleman named Barack Obama won the big election about a month ago. I don't pay attention to these sorts of things normally, but I saw them selling a "commemorative" plate of him on a late night commercial last night. Supposedly he is going to be the new President. Looks like a nice kid, I wish him luck.

On that note, I was at Beaners last night and overheard some chap talking about this Obama fellow and how he thinks he is doing a good job. I got my cup of coffee, headed back up to my flat and decided to look Barack up on the internet. There certainly is alot of stuff about him on the web, but he doesn't seem to know much about telechromatics. I may write him a letter or get in touch with him by phone.

I also saw a picture of him smoking, a pal mal perhaps?

Irony

Isn't it funny how things work out sometimes? Today I was sitting in my nice lounge chair by the window, looking out over the sea, and a knock came to my door. Well, living in a flat has its advantages and one is that I did not have to go far to get to the door.

I opened the door and it was none other than the delivery man, with my new set of coffee mugs I had ordered late one night from the commercial on the idiot box (t.v. for those less initiated than myself to the painfully crappy nature of it).

I had just been thinking about those mugs when I had been sitting by the window, wondering when they would arrive. I was in the middle of a really good and hot cup of coffee. You never know when things like that might happen.

It's For the Birds

I don't like sleeping, and with any luck I'll soon be able to apply telechromatics and do away with it altogether. Sleeping is probably the single greatest waste of time in human history. Think how much more advanced we would be if we didn't have to sleep!

Certainly my 12-14 cups of coffee a day and a few packs of pal mals helps me to stay awake as long as possible, but at about 2 or 3 am I pretty much pass out. Sure, I'm up again at around 5:30-6 but that is 2 or 3 hours wasted sleeping when I could be working on telechromatics or even drinking some coffee.

It really is quite ridiculous, but I'm working on it.

The Man

There was a man outside my window last night. Now, I'm not an advocate of "peeping" per se, but this chap was really committing no harm. So I invited him in for a cup of coffee.

We had a good chat about telechromatics, even though he knew little about it. I gave him a good rundown and I think he thouroughly enjoyed it. He told me why he had taken to "peeping" and given the fact that I couldn't rightly disagree with him, I held no grudge. In fact, I told him that his reasons for doing it were so sublime that I was quite sure he could give it up and continue to live a good life. He agreed and shook my hand.

There really is no situation where a good hot cup of black coffee doesn't help.

The Coffee Economy

The best way to free yourself from the incesent drumbeat of negative news on the economy is to drink some nice hot black coffee. Not only will you be helping the economy, you'll be helping yourself. It's therapeutic and certainly mentally pleasing.

If you're extremely depressed, throw in a pack or two of pal mals. I try to smoke at least 3 per cup of coffee. If you drink 12-14 cups of coffee a day, as I do, then you'll want to keep a few packs handy.

The economy will get better, no doubt about it.

Woody

Try not to put yourself in a situation where you get caught up drinking coffee with Woody Allen. Not only is it likely that by the end of the nightmare you'll want to kill yourself, the hell of it all is you will kill yourself unless you have an iron will.

The man cannot be spoken to for more than 5 continuous minutes, it is just that simple. Even a nice hot cup of black coffee doesn't help, which is an indicator in itself of his psychosis given the fact that black coffee can usually get you through anything.

So next time you are in Beaner's Coffee and you see Woody Allen, avoid him at all costs. If the need be, get your coffee to go and leave immediately. Otherwise you will get caught in the shit storm that is Woody.

Do Not Exit

If you have ever been to a coffee shop, you'll understand what I am about to tell you.

It happens like this: you are sitting there, reading a newspaper and having a nice hot cup of black coffee. Perhaps, if you are lucky, you are also smoking a nice pal mal. When all of a sudden some whackjob comes over and asks if you if you could move because the smoke from your cigarette is bothering them. What a terribly maddening situation this is.

Well my advice is to move. It doesn't accomplish anything to argue with the poor gentleman or woman. If they have some preconceived notion that they are being harmed by your wonderfully pleasant cig, nothing you say will change their mind.

So move, but do not, and I cannot stress this enough, do not exit. If you exit at that point in time you are most likely giving up what is a perfectly good cup of coffee. Most likely black coffee at that. So just move on and continue your relaxing endeavours at a different table. If there is not one available, then stand up for awhile, it can't hurt. Someone will move along shortly and you can get back to being comfortable.

In the end, the coffee and the pal mal are what is important and no pretentious non-smoker can ruin that if you don't let them.

Good Time Rotary Boy

Cell phones are bad for you. Coffee is extremely good for you. So next time you want to have a conversation, have it over a nice hot cup of black coffee not a cell phone.

And for bloody hell's sake get a rotary telephone, not a cell phone. Don't treat your brain like a radio wave tower, it doesn't like that.

Cell phones may seem like they are convenient now, but when you are lying in a hospital bed with a tumor the size of a golf ball in your head, you'll wish you had listened to me and just stuck with the coffee.

I Break for Coffee

I don't work, but if I did I would demand two smoke breaks and three coffee breaks. It seems to me that these two issues alone would drive people to unionize. In fact, if I had the ability I would start the International Brotherhood of Coffee and Cigarette Break Demanders Union (or IBCCBDU for short).

It's not only a human rights issue, it is a health issue. It is near impossible to get through a day without a couple pal mals and a few hot cups of black coffee. Those that manage to do it must have some sort of genetic imprint that allows them some freakish immunity to falling ill.

So next time you are at your job, if you have one, demand two cigarette breaks and three coffee breaks. It will help you and your employer by increasing happiness in the workplace. Just make sure you break with pal mals and your coffee is black.

Someone Once Said That

It's always funny to me when someone says they are bored.

Oh The Humanity

Why do we rely on fellow human beings to do what we ourselves should be doing and could actually likely do better? Why do we hold some others up to be demi-gods when in fact they put their kilts on one leg at a time just like the rest of us?

If you are human, you are by definition fallible. Only God is infallible. So do not rely on other humans to perfect your life, when these others are by definition imperfect themselves.

Following a "humanistic" worldview will only serve to narrow the possibilities for existence. By not allowing yourself to expand beyond the limited scope of human knowledge, you are cutting yourself off from a vast expanse of knowledge that is out there. People must get beyond the limitation of human thought and avoid falling into the trap of relying on other humans to solve all of our problems.

It's a Habit

I took a walk to the the coffee shop right around the corner from my flat, and here is this big guy selling cigs. Specifically, he's selling pal mals which are obviously my favourite. So I bought a couple and enjoyed a nice smooth puff with the fine gentleman.

Then I went into the coffee joint, ordered me a nice hot cup of black coffee and wrote a bit of nonsense on a napkin. Actually it turned out to be rather important when I got done with it: a nice new schematic for the telechromatic fission clock I'm working on.

It just goes to show that old habits die hard and that's a good thing, because habits can lead to breakthroughs.

Best Laid Plans...

Sometimes you head out to do something, and things go wrong and the thing you wanted to do goes undid. That is a bit of a jigger. But, there are ways to overcome this terrible situation.

My advice is to do something else. Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Well it is, but many folks will just give up and declare the day lost. No day is ever lost, as long as there is a hot cup of black coffee and a nice, smooth pal mal waiting for you at the end of it. So when things go arye, think quickly and move on to another adventure, you will be better off in the end.

The Life Code

A nice hot cup of black coffee, a smooth pal mal, and a lady by your side. It doesn't get any better.

The Fine was Levied

It wasn't as if I had expected to get myself into that position, but I did and now I must pay the fine. Had I simply went a few hundred feet to the right or left, it would have been a completely different story.

However, at this point in time I don't think I am going to pay the fine. It is a rather ridiculous fine when you think about the situation from which it arose.

Does this mean I am scofflaw? Am I a felon, or an outlaw? Perhaps even a revolutionary?

I don't know, but I know that they don't have very good coffee in prison.

Dreary Days

Overcast, chilly, and overall just a dreary day. There is one cure for a predicament such as this: a nice hot cup of black coffee and a pal mal. Out on the porch with the pal mal, I can look out and dream of a world that is not, but should be. Inside with my coffee I can work on bringing about that world. It's a nice feeling to have, when it is so cold on the other side of the sliding glass door.

A Night at the Opera

I've never been to the opera, but I imagine it to be a quite elegant affair. I doubt they serve coffee though. Still, despite the much lamentable lack of a good, hot cup of black coffe it is no doubt something I would like to do.

A day at the opera doesn't seem quite as fashionable. I've never heard someone say they were going to spend a 'day at the opera.' I suppose people would look rather silly in their opera dresses and monkey suits at 2 p.m. in the afternoon.

In the old days I am sure it was perfectly o.k. to have a good pal mal while watching the opera, but of course nowadays you can't even have one in a tavern. What a dispicable turn of events, not only for taverns but also the opera.

One of Life's Biggest Questions

You make a nice pot of hot coffee in the morning. It's gone by 10:30 or maybe even sooner somedays.

So the question is, do you make another pot?

The answer is yes, yes you do. Because there is nothing like a hot cup of freshly made black coffee.

It's Black

Coffee can save your life. Specifically, black coffee will extend your life anywhere from 1-2 hours.



So rather than dying at 4pm on some random Tuesday afternoon, you might survive until 5 or 6pm. That could mean everything, as there is a lot that can be done in that time, especially after a good, hot cup of black coffee.



Drink black coffee and perhaps with a pal mal, if your not averse to a good cigarette.

Perhaps it's a pal mal at 1 a.m. Or maybe it's a liquid lunch, Jack Daniels with Coke preferably. Whatever it is, it keeps me going.

Life is like that; it's the little things that get you through the day.

So next time you're feeling down, or if you're feeling violent, mellow out with a nice pal mal and a Jack & Coke. Civility may depend on it.

(And remember to always follow up with a nice cup of black coffee in the morning)

Do Not Go Outside The Box

You've heard the phrase I'm sure. "Think outside the box" has been a catchphrase in the business community and an offshoot of it was even used by a major fast food chain for their marketing and advertising.

It is a terrible phrase and should not be used. It is construed to mean that you should try to think in new ways, to come up with something out of the ordinary, in the hopes that it will allow the person "thinking outside the box" to solve a problem that had theretofore not been easily solved.

Boxes are good. They are really good when it comes to thinking about things. So stay in the box when thinking. You'll find it is much better for you, whoever you are doing the thinking for, and for those who are to benefit from whatever matter it is you are thinking about.