I don't work, but if I did I would demand two smoke breaks and three coffee breaks. It seems to me that these two issues alone would drive people to unionize. In fact, if I had the ability I would start the International Brotherhood of Coffee and Cigarette Break Demanders Union (or IBCCBDU for short).
It's not only a human rights issue, it is a health issue. It is near impossible to get through a day without a couple pal mals and a few hot cups of black coffee. Those that manage to do it must have some sort of genetic imprint that allows them some freakish immunity to falling ill.
So next time you are at your job, if you have one, demand two cigarette breaks and three coffee breaks. It will help you and your employer by increasing happiness in the workplace. Just make sure you break with pal mals and your coffee is black.
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