If It's 21 Degrees and Nobody is There To Feel it, Does It Still Suck?

It's never cold with a hot cup of coffee. Add to that a nice, smooth Pal Mal and the temperature no longer matters outside, because inside you're feeling fine.

I was waiting for the bus this morning, because I had to go over to the market and deliver a package and it was a tad chilly out. However, I had a nice tall cup of coffee in my right hand, and smooth Pal Mal in my left hand. It could have been a warm June day in a tropical getaway.

Speaking of Barack Obama

Apparently some gentleman named Barack Obama won the big election about a month ago. I don't pay attention to these sorts of things normally, but I saw them selling a "commemorative" plate of him on a late night commercial last night. Supposedly he is going to be the new President. Looks like a nice kid, I wish him luck.

On that note, I was at Beaners last night and overheard some chap talking about this Obama fellow and how he thinks he is doing a good job. I got my cup of coffee, headed back up to my flat and decided to look Barack up on the internet. There certainly is alot of stuff about him on the web, but he doesn't seem to know much about telechromatics. I may write him a letter or get in touch with him by phone.

I also saw a picture of him smoking, a pal mal perhaps?

The Coffee Economy

The best way to free yourself from the incesent drumbeat of negative news on the economy is to drink some nice hot black coffee. Not only will you be helping the economy, you'll be helping yourself. It's therapeutic and certainly mentally pleasing.

If you're extremely depressed, throw in a pack or two of pal mals. I try to smoke at least 3 per cup of coffee. If you drink 12-14 cups of coffee a day, as I do, then you'll want to keep a few packs handy.

The economy will get better, no doubt about it.

Do Not Exit

If you have ever been to a coffee shop, you'll understand what I am about to tell you.

It happens like this: you are sitting there, reading a newspaper and having a nice hot cup of black coffee. Perhaps, if you are lucky, you are also smoking a nice pal mal. When all of a sudden some whackjob comes over and asks if you if you could move because the smoke from your cigarette is bothering them. What a terribly maddening situation this is.

Well my advice is to move. It doesn't accomplish anything to argue with the poor gentleman or woman. If they have some preconceived notion that they are being harmed by your wonderfully pleasant cig, nothing you say will change their mind.

So move, but do not, and I cannot stress this enough, do not exit. If you exit at that point in time you are most likely giving up what is a perfectly good cup of coffee. Most likely black coffee at that. So just move on and continue your relaxing endeavours at a different table. If there is not one available, then stand up for awhile, it can't hurt. Someone will move along shortly and you can get back to being comfortable.

In the end, the coffee and the pal mal are what is important and no pretentious non-smoker can ruin that if you don't let them.

I Break for Coffee

I don't work, but if I did I would demand two smoke breaks and three coffee breaks. It seems to me that these two issues alone would drive people to unionize. In fact, if I had the ability I would start the International Brotherhood of Coffee and Cigarette Break Demanders Union (or IBCCBDU for short).

It's not only a human rights issue, it is a health issue. It is near impossible to get through a day without a couple pal mals and a few hot cups of black coffee. Those that manage to do it must have some sort of genetic imprint that allows them some freakish immunity to falling ill.

So next time you are at your job, if you have one, demand two cigarette breaks and three coffee breaks. It will help you and your employer by increasing happiness in the workplace. Just make sure you break with pal mals and your coffee is black.

It's a Habit

I took a walk to the the coffee shop right around the corner from my flat, and here is this big guy selling cigs. Specifically, he's selling pal mals which are obviously my favourite. So I bought a couple and enjoyed a nice smooth puff with the fine gentleman.

Then I went into the coffee joint, ordered me a nice hot cup of black coffee and wrote a bit of nonsense on a napkin. Actually it turned out to be rather important when I got done with it: a nice new schematic for the telechromatic fission clock I'm working on.

It just goes to show that old habits die hard and that's a good thing, because habits can lead to breakthroughs.

Best Laid Plans...

Sometimes you head out to do something, and things go wrong and the thing you wanted to do goes undid. That is a bit of a jigger. But, there are ways to overcome this terrible situation.

My advice is to do something else. Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Well it is, but many folks will just give up and declare the day lost. No day is ever lost, as long as there is a hot cup of black coffee and a nice, smooth pal mal waiting for you at the end of it. So when things go arye, think quickly and move on to another adventure, you will be better off in the end.

The Life Code

A nice hot cup of black coffee, a smooth pal mal, and a lady by your side. It doesn't get any better.

Dreary Days

Overcast, chilly, and overall just a dreary day. There is one cure for a predicament such as this: a nice hot cup of black coffee and a pal mal. Out on the porch with the pal mal, I can look out and dream of a world that is not, but should be. Inside with my coffee I can work on bringing about that world. It's a nice feeling to have, when it is so cold on the other side of the sliding glass door.

A Night at the Opera

I've never been to the opera, but I imagine it to be a quite elegant affair. I doubt they serve coffee though. Still, despite the much lamentable lack of a good, hot cup of black coffe it is no doubt something I would like to do.

A day at the opera doesn't seem quite as fashionable. I've never heard someone say they were going to spend a 'day at the opera.' I suppose people would look rather silly in their opera dresses and monkey suits at 2 p.m. in the afternoon.

In the old days I am sure it was perfectly o.k. to have a good pal mal while watching the opera, but of course nowadays you can't even have one in a tavern. What a dispicable turn of events, not only for taverns but also the opera.

It's Black

Coffee can save your life. Specifically, black coffee will extend your life anywhere from 1-2 hours.



So rather than dying at 4pm on some random Tuesday afternoon, you might survive until 5 or 6pm. That could mean everything, as there is a lot that can be done in that time, especially after a good, hot cup of black coffee.



Drink black coffee and perhaps with a pal mal, if your not averse to a good cigarette.

Perhaps it's a pal mal at 1 a.m. Or maybe it's a liquid lunch, Jack Daniels with Coke preferably. Whatever it is, it keeps me going.

Life is like that; it's the little things that get you through the day.

So next time you're feeling down, or if you're feeling violent, mellow out with a nice pal mal and a Jack & Coke. Civility may depend on it.

(And remember to always follow up with a nice cup of black coffee in the morning)